Tag Archives: Cipher

Processing: How to Hide Messages in Static

What Do I Say?

Poltergeist was hands down the scariest movie I saw as a child. It hard coded my brain to associate static on television with sinister messages from the beyond. Now that I’m older,  I’ve come to the realization that static is a great place to hide all kinds of messages (thanks Poltergeist). And Processing is the obvious place to make that happen.

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VBA: How to Code a Letter Frequency Chart

Rolling Stones

I recently picked up a book called “Ghost in the Wires: My Adventures as the World’s Most Wanted Hacker” by Kevin Mitnick. To be totally honest, I’d never heard of Mitnick before. He was a little before my time—when he was arrested in 1995, I was still struggling to understand why the hell I had to learn fractions and everything I knew about computers was based on WarGames.

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VBA: How to Use Dictionary Objects in Excel

A Deranged Alphabet Generator

Ok, I’ve been dancing around dictionaries in VBA for weeks—mainly because they seemed confusing. And I’m lazy. Turns out, they are supremely helpful storage devices. If say, you want a randomly ordered alphabet (otherwise known as a deranged alphabet) for a simple substitution cipher, the easiest way to store each letter with it’s new associated value is with a dictionary.

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VBA: How to Crack the Caesar Shift with Brute Force

Caesar Brute Force

Imagine you have a combination lock with 4 digits. If you wack your head against a car hood by accident and forget the combination, this means you have a problem with 255 wrong answers and 1 right one. If you had a few days to spare, you could try all of them. The marvelous thing about computers is that they can, quite easily, auto-generate all 256 possibilities and beat the lock senseless with them. Until it opens.

That’s a brute force attack.

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Processing: How to Code A Wheel Cipher Layout

Thomas Jefferson's Wheel

I’ve been reading Code Breakers by Rudolf Kippenhahn. What hooked me into it was the part about the Wheel Cipher, a device envisioned by Thomas Jefferson in the late 1700’s. You can see Jefferson’s note about the wheel in his very own, genuinely awful handwriting here.

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Processing: How to Code a Grayscale Cipher

A grey alphabet

Well, I’ve clearly been doing graphics wrong ALL MY LIFE because I never knew Processing was a thing. Now that I’m aware, I’m attempting to rewire my brain for it.

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Python: How to Cipher in Blender

An adorable little house...

I like shift ciphers as much as the next guy but Caesar is just so damn obvious. If you’re sending a giant wall of nonsense letters to a friend in an email, you might as well wave a giant neon-colored flag around that says “HEY I’M A SHADY BASTARD” to any third parties that might stumble upon it.

A proper cipher should have some form of camouflage. Like a sweet little house on a hill. With fireflies hanging out.

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