Tag: GIMP

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Six Programs for Starving Artists

A Program List

Like most freelancers out there, I don’t have spare cash for subscription fees. Approximately 99.9% of my disposable income goes toward coffee, booze, and books.  Side-note: If you haven’t read Stiff by Mary Roach, you should. Informative but also surprisingly lighthearted.

Back to the point. Graphic design, photo editing, 3D modeling, GIS packages—the serious stuff can swallow your wallet whole. Luckily, the internet is a magical place, full of open-source alternatives to help level the playing field. Here’s my top picks.

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Scheme: How to Assign Variables

This can't be healthy.
Part of what makes scheme such a bloody mess is the variable situation. If you’ve ever found yourself chewing at the curtains wondering why, dear god, why the console won’t stop with the unbound variable errors, chances are something is wrong with the way you wrote one or all of your variables.

That’s why I’m doing a short walk-through of scheme variables. Local ones, anyway.

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Scheme: How to Loop GIMP Functions

happynewyear

For my first script of the new year, I started learning an entirely new language for an entirely different program that has resulted in my enduring a genuinely disturbing number of migraines over the last few days.

Tangential Warning: I don’t recommend scheme for beginners. I wouldn’t recommend it for any living creature because scheme is a monumental asshat of a language. It demands that you restructure the way you write math. Who the HELL decided THAT was a good idea? Oh, everyone in the world is accustomed to writing 2+2? Fuck those bastards, we’re going to force them to do +2 2 because programming is SUPPOSED to be confusing. And just to make it extra fun, EVERYTHING needs to go in parentheses. That way, even if the morons manage to get the expressions figured out, they’ll still have to spend HOURS guessing where the missing ) needs to go.

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